How do I love?

In response to my low iron levels, I made Tomato-Curry Lentil Stew (lentils are supposed to be uber high in iron). I'm switching to white rice this week (brown rice inhibits iron absorption) and will continue taking iron pills. Hopefully when I attempt to give blood again next week, they won't turn me away again. Curry and tomatoes are quite a tasty combination, if I do say so myself.

Being a Social Psychologist, people often ask me if I analyze people all the time? (By the way, I find that question EXTREMELY annoying, so please don't ask me if you haven't already!) I usually answer no, because otherwise the other person shuts up really quickly. The truth is, though I don't intentionally analyze everyone I meet, I'm definitely very aware of how a person tries to present him or herself. One of my main lines of research has to do with identity negotiation: how a person "negotiates" with those around them how they want to be seen as well as the underlying motivations behind the negotiation process.

Anyway I recently noticed two particular people in my life who have some deep-seated insecurities in their identities. One woman is very insecure in her position in her life. She compensates for this by clinging onto an identity of a nurturer and at every opportunity tries to assert her authority and care upon others. Sometimes it's welcomed, sometimes it's not. Though her intentions are good, I've noticed that need holding her bondage. As soon as her sense of authority or ability to nurture is undermined, she becomes very defensive and hurt.

Another man constantly boasts about his abilities and his experiences. I found it to be tiresome to listen to until one day he said something that made me realize the only reason he boasts so much is because he really doesn't believe in himself. He has an inferiority complex that is driving him to verbally assert who he is to any listening ear.

So my question is, what is the loving thing to do? For both this man and this woman, their insecurities have such a hold on their life. Do I encourage them and indulge them, driving them deeper into their habit of self-assertion, or do I refuse to indulge them? Or will my constant encouragement help them to let go of their need to assert who they are?