Can you fix a Broken Heart with Painkillers?

Original picture found here: http://an9ie.blogspot.com

When we describe our responses to rejection, whether we refer to being dumped, being insulted, or just being left out, our language tends to mirror that of our responses to physical pain. We speak of experiencing a "broken heart," or that we are "emotionally scarred," "slapped in the face," "deeply hurt," or "cut to the core."

Social Psychologists argue there is a reason the language we use to describe social and physical pain is so similar.

There is a growing number of researchers who argue that the need for belonging is such a fundamental need that we have developed a mechanism that signals to us any threat of exclusion. Much like how our body has learned to recognize and avoid physical dangers, our body has learned to recognize and avoid social rejection. The researchers (e.g., MacDonald & Leary, 2005, Psy Bull) go on to argue that in fact, social threats and physical threats activate the same signaling mechanism which is physical pain. Pain is an effective signal of impending threat as it involves a quick response and it is motivating enough to influence behavior away from the threat. What this means, then, is that when we talk about broken hearts, we are not just speaking in metaphor; our hearts literally feel like they are physically breaking.

I was surprised by the evidence that supports this. Researchers have found that priming social rejection activates similar brain patterns as priming physical pain. In fact, a very provocative study (DeWall et al., 2010, Psy Sci) found that taking Acetaminophen, a pain killer, actually reduces social pain! The painkiller reduced brain activity associated with social rejection, and participants also reported feeling less pain. In other words, you CAN heal broken hearts and bad moods with pain killers.

I'm curious to know - and I'm asking the non-scientists, general population here: what do you all think of this? What do you think of the idea that social rejection activates the same physiological responses as physical injuries?

Back to the Basics

I've been feeling a ton of unrest and angst lately which has kept me from blogging more than I wish to. I've been carrying around this ache in my stomach everywhere I go -- an ache that is a mixture of dread, shame, guilt, and self-doubt -- in my yoga classes, school activities, even my friendships. In fact, it got so bad that I crawled into bed one Monday and with the exception of a few yoga classes I had to teach, I did not emerge until Friday morning.

Something was terribly wrong. 

We are called to live in freedom. To experience unconditional joy and peace. Yet it was like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders and I was teetering at the edge of depression without a clue as to why. So I turned to the only place I knew I could find some answers. And I read this passage:

Psalm 142:1-3: "I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way."

I used to trust that God had prepared my way for me, but somehow along the way I lost that trust. I took my circumstances under my own control and began to lose my way. My ego surfaced, and took over everything I did. I operated out of fear rather than love, and began to experience self-condemnation instead of fear. Instead of yoga students, I was seeing numbers that both fattened my wallet and increased my sense of accomplishment. Instead of theoretical knowledge, I was focused on publications and padding my CV. Instead of friendships, I was focused on validation. I lost the love of everything I was doing and instead became a slave to my commitments. 

It's time to go back to the basics.

I'm simplifying. I'm stepping out in faith in my financial situation and dropping half the yoga classes I teach. Furthermore, I'm going to focus on being a yoga student and loving the practice again. I'm also going to cut down the number of research projects I'm running to make time for the few that are important to me. And I'm going to take time each week to do the little things I love: peruse museums, play music, take pictures, and drop by a jazz club. I'm going to rediscover why I love what I do: how yoga can transform lives, and how knowledge can be used to break the bonds of social injustice.

Let's see where this takes me...

Herzliya

I’m now at IARR in Herzliya and am going to take a break from blogging for a little bit (at least until I return to the States). Our hotel overlooks the Mediterranean Sea so I’ve been attending the conference, and spending my spare time on the beach. Today I played hooky altogether and slept in, resting up before life gets stressful again when I go home. After eating my last falafel pita in Israel (the conference will feed us all day tomorrow) I took a long nap on the beach, then headed back to my hotel room to work on my presentation. After the sunset, I took a long walk on the beach, and swam in the waves. The beaches in Israel are absolutely marvelous at night.

Lots of research ideas and life-thoughts swirling in my head, and hopefully I’ll be able to process enough to share at some point. As much as I love Israel, I’m ready to sleep in my own bed again.

A Time of Transition

As cheesy as it sounds, when I turned 26 a few weeks ago, I felt the Lord whisper to me, "This is the year." The year for what? That I do not yet know. All I know is that life is moving at an unbelievable pace. I'm entering a time of transition and big changes are happening in the next few months: changes regarding my living situation, my research focus, and my yoga teaching and practice. Since Sunday, the Lord has started to move me down a new path, allowing me to potentially pursue some old dreams I had written off long ago, and instilling me a new sense of purpose and direction in my life that seems to weave together all my experiences. I'm really excited for what's to come!

Today was a fantastic day. In about an hour, I'm picking up an old college friend from the airport. I'm grateful that although I'm away from home on Easter, a little piece of home is coming to join me this weekend. The 40 day yoga challenge starts tomorrow which is timely as I'm hoping to blog about both the yoga challenge and the transitions in my life over the next 40 days.

Being Me

Austin downtown shenanigans:

Ahhhhh...finally have some time to blog!! My flight landed in Austin at around 11pm last Monday and I had to be on campus at 9:30 the next morning to run a research study. Let's just say I haven't stopped since. I'm acclimating to my new schedule along with teaching a brand new Vinyasa class, trying to catch up with Austin friends, and have been scrambling to finish up some tasks before I leave for Vegas next Wednesday. I've been driving back and forth town a ton since I got back and really am looking forward to commuting less when I (hopefully) relocate closer to downtown this summer.

But despite the busyness of it all, I've been feeling an incredible joy this week. Which is SUCH A GIFT, considering how I've been feeling this past week in Austin. When I came back from break, I actually felt incredibly discouraged both about teaching yoga and about my research. I felt my work was sub-par in both, and I kept comparing myself to others and found myself coming up short.

When I shared this with my wonderful friend and fellow yoga teacher Sarah (affectionately known as "Struttin'", she reminded me that my worth as a yoga teacher is not determined by my students. It is not determined by how complicated my flow sequences are, or even by the level of energy I bring to the class. My entire worth as a yoga teacher is based on the fact that I am teaching to the best of my ability in order to glorify and honor Christ and that is that. The same goes for my research. My worth as a Psychologist is not determined by how many publications are on my vita, by my teaching evaluations, even by the amount of funding I receive. The important thing to focus on is researching to glorify and honor the Lord. And if I'm aiming to please Him, He will direct my path in the right direction, whatever that means for me.

Coincidentally - or rather, Providentially - the sermon on Sunday was related to that lesson. Hmmm..is someone trying to tell me something?

So I'm letting go of the comparisons, and wishing I was more like so-and-so. I'm letting go of focusing on how I measure up to others in the same line of work as me. And I'm focusing on bringing who I am and what I have to offer to the table. Being true to myself as Christian, and true to what I feel called to do. And let me tell you, I have never felt so much joy in my research and in teaching!

I taught a Vinyasa class this evening where we celebrated our breath. We celebrated our bodies and the movements we are able to take. We laughed, we sweated, we flowed, we fell on our face, and we got back up again. It was absolutely exhilarating! I may not be the best yoga teacher out there, and I may not be the most talented researcher by far, but I'm working hard and doing my best, being true to who I am. And that, finally, is enough.