Day 2

I've updated my yoga schedule for May. May will be a little crazy as I'm trying to set myself up financially for the summer by teaching 7 yoga classes a week. I'm still in the process of figuring out my UT teaching schedule for June through August, but that will likely fall into place within the next few weeks.

I taught my first private yoga lesson today. It was an Ashtanga lesson, and so I walked in with nothing more planned than to observe and correct. It was a really fun experience. Mike once said something about teaching based on flow of energy rather than simple anatomy, and I found that to be helpful in figuring out how to correct and better teach my students.

My friend Jessi is in Austin this weekend for a wedding, and I used her being in town as an excuse to check out First Thursday for the first time. South Congress was transformed into a street with performers and vendors, and it certainly had a feel of a small scale Ann Arbor Art Fair. It broke up this week and made the second half of the week feel like a continuous weekend. However, work is hitting hard as my relationship identity negotiation research is gaining momentum, and I just received possibly the most positive reviews for a paper I'll ever receive in my career. Hopefully, I'll find some time to get some work done this weekend!

Day 2 of the 40 Day Yoga Challenge, and I've actually been able to practice all of first series and half of second for two days in a row! It helps that I've found that I can finish all of that in about 1 1/2 hours (it used to take me a full two hours). I've realized that my lower back, while very strong, has become very very tight, and I've been working in primary to start stretching out that lower back. The result is the lower back has been feeling a little more floppier than usual lately, but hopefully it will all balance out.

I've learned many things in Ashtanga, and one of them is that imbalance is sometimes necessary to achieve balance. Injury is sometimes necessary to heal. Sometimes brokenness has to occur to strengthen and grow. That isn't to say I'm going to purposefully injure myself, but injuries and other little detours to serve a purpose and can actually enhance and grow the practice. And hopefully I can begin to take the same perspective on life. That the little detours and valleys I experience aren't debilitating - rather they are opportunities for me to mature and grow stronger and become more equipped for my purpose and goal.

Being Me

Austin downtown shenanigans:

Ahhhhh...finally have some time to blog!! My flight landed in Austin at around 11pm last Monday and I had to be on campus at 9:30 the next morning to run a research study. Let's just say I haven't stopped since. I'm acclimating to my new schedule along with teaching a brand new Vinyasa class, trying to catch up with Austin friends, and have been scrambling to finish up some tasks before I leave for Vegas next Wednesday. I've been driving back and forth town a ton since I got back and really am looking forward to commuting less when I (hopefully) relocate closer to downtown this summer.

But despite the busyness of it all, I've been feeling an incredible joy this week. Which is SUCH A GIFT, considering how I've been feeling this past week in Austin. When I came back from break, I actually felt incredibly discouraged both about teaching yoga and about my research. I felt my work was sub-par in both, and I kept comparing myself to others and found myself coming up short.

When I shared this with my wonderful friend and fellow yoga teacher Sarah (affectionately known as "Struttin'", she reminded me that my worth as a yoga teacher is not determined by my students. It is not determined by how complicated my flow sequences are, or even by the level of energy I bring to the class. My entire worth as a yoga teacher is based on the fact that I am teaching to the best of my ability in order to glorify and honor Christ and that is that. The same goes for my research. My worth as a Psychologist is not determined by how many publications are on my vita, by my teaching evaluations, even by the amount of funding I receive. The important thing to focus on is researching to glorify and honor the Lord. And if I'm aiming to please Him, He will direct my path in the right direction, whatever that means for me.

Coincidentally - or rather, Providentially - the sermon on Sunday was related to that lesson. Hmmm..is someone trying to tell me something?

So I'm letting go of the comparisons, and wishing I was more like so-and-so. I'm letting go of focusing on how I measure up to others in the same line of work as me. And I'm focusing on bringing who I am and what I have to offer to the table. Being true to myself as Christian, and true to what I feel called to do. And let me tell you, I have never felt so much joy in my research and in teaching!

I taught a Vinyasa class this evening where we celebrated our breath. We celebrated our bodies and the movements we are able to take. We laughed, we sweated, we flowed, we fell on our face, and we got back up again. It was absolutely exhilarating! I may not be the best yoga teacher out there, and I may not be the most talented researcher by far, but I'm working hard and doing my best, being true to who I am. And that, finally, is enough.