Growing Pains

(butterfly pic cheesily symbolizing changes and transitions)

I taught my last Wednesday Vinyasa class tonight. On one hand the end was bittersweet as I was just starting to find my groove with the class, on the other hand I'm grateful as teaching the class was wearing me out in terms of my schedule. I had a few regulars in the class tonight and we took time to explore inversions such as handstands and forearm stands.

This week has been like magic in terms of yoga. Someone told me to teach from the heart and I've really been trying to do that. I come to my students open and honest about where I am in my life and in my practice, and instead of "teaching," I bring them on my journey with me. And something has changed. In my UT classes, students are binding and popping up into headstands for the first time. Tonight, I had a student hover in pincha mayurasana for the first time, and another taking courage to attempt handstand for the first time ever! Teaching can be more tiring that people think, but the look of wonder on their faces when students are finally able to do what they've been working on for years makes it all worthwhile!

As the semester is closing out I've been completely burnt out. I'm exhausted, unmotivated, and emotional. I'm also finding myself just in a place of brokenness. While I have a lot of hope towards what's to come, I think I'm facing a lot of ugliness in my own life, seeing flaws in my character and in my heart. I truly believe that this sadness and brokenness is a righteous brokenness (much like what people call righteous anger), and that it's going to serve as an impetus to really examine my life and ask for a change in heart. Like I had mentioned a few blog posts back, I'm entering a time of transition and great things are about to happen in all aspects of my life! I think right now I'm just experiencing some growing pains.

Anyway, I'm embarking on a month long detox to start ridding my body of all the junk I've been eating this past semester. This week, I'm cutting down on animal products (meat, eggs, and dairy) and weaning myself off caffeine. Next week I'm cutting out processed foods. I'm also looking forward to changes in my yoga teaching schedule starting this Saturday as well as the semester (finally) ending next Friday. Projects I'm going to be working on this summer include designing a website for my yoga teaching as well as designing and ordering some business cards. I'm also hoping to write up my Master's thesis and my prepare my dissertation proposal for this coming fall. Then I'll be in Israel for most of July and coming back and moving into a precious little studio apartment in Hyde Park.

Hopefully I'll start updating regularly soon! I'd love to have a public record of this journey and time of transition!