Call Back

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back--
'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track;
And if, perchance, Faith's light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back, and say He kept you when the forest's roots were torn;
That, when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill,
He bore you up and held you where the very air was still.

Oh, friend, call back, and tell me for I cannot see your your face,
They say it glows with triumph, and your feet bound in the race;
But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim,
And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.

But if you'll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,
And if you'll say He saw you through the night's sin-darkened sky
If you have gone a little way ahead, oh, friend, call back--
'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track. 

--Lettie Cowan

Life during the last 2 weeks

I was feeling guilty about my productivity since finals until I came across this. Ah, PhD comics - a reminder that I'm not alone.

Darkness

"Sometimes the darkness in our lives is worse, because we cannot even see the web we are weaving or understand what we are doing. Therefore we are unable to see any beauty or any possible good arising from our experience. Yet if we are faithful to forge ahead and 'if we do not give up' (Gal. 6:9), someday we will know that the most exquisite work of our lives was done during those days when it was the darkest."
     ~J. R. Miller


The shuttles of His purpose move
     To carry out His own design;
Seek not too soon to disapprove
     His work, nor yet assign
Dark motives, when, with silent tread,
     You view some somber fold;
For lo, within each darker thread
     There twines a thread of gold.
                ~from Canadian Home Journal

Peace in the Storm

There is a peace that springs soon after sorrow,
Of hope surrendered, not of hope fulfilled;
A peace that does not look upon tomorrow,
But calmly on the storm that it has stilled.

A peace that lives not now in joy's excesses,
Nor in the happy life of love secure;
But in the morning strength the heart possesses,
Of conflicts won while learning to endure.

A peace there is, in sacrifice secluded,
A life subdued, from will and passion free;
It's not the peace that over Eden brooded,
But that which triumphed in Gethsemane.

~Streams in the Desert, by Lettie Cowman

Obedience

I said: “Let me walk in the fields.”

He said: “No, walk in the town.”

I said: “There are no flowers there.”

He said: “No flowers, but a crown.”

I said: “But the skies are black;

There is nothing but noise and din.”

And He wept as He sent me back –

“There is more,” He said; “there is sin.”

I said: “But the air is thick,

And fogs are veiling the sun.”

He answered: “Yet souls are sick,

And souls in the dark undone!”

I said: “I shall miss the light,

And friends will miss me, they say.”

He answered: “Choose tonight

If I am to miss you or they.”

I pleaded for time to be given.

He said: “Is it hard to decide?

It will not seem so hard in heaven

To have followed the steps of your Guide.”

I cast one look at the fields,

Then set my face to the town;

He said, “My child, do you yield?

Will you leave the flowers for the crown?”

Then into His hand went mine;

And into my heart came He;

And I walk in a light divine,

The path I had feared to see.

~George MacDonald

The First of the Changes

Last week I took an hour off of my work day to attend a docent led tour of the photography exhibit at the Harry Ransom center. It was a much needed break from the usual grind and I got to set aside my work hat(s) to just enjoy, well, things that I enjoy in life.

Tomorrow is the last day I'm teaching the Thursday evening Ashtanga class at Castle Hill. In December, I'll be saying to another three classes. Luckily these are not classes I've been teaching long, but the change is still symbolic for me in that it's a sign that I'm finally re-prioritizing my life. I need to focus on school more, and that involves creating larger chunks of time when I can sit down and work. I need to spend my free time resting and restoring my mind, body, and soul, instead of running myself ragged trying to fit all my work in.

So what do I want to do more of in the Spring?
I want to spend more time outside in the sun.
I want to focus more on my own personal yoga practice.
I want to explore the more artistic side of me through music and photography.
I want to get more involved with social justice movements here in Austin.
I want to improve my cooking abilities.

No, don't worry, I won't replace my dropped yoga classes with more obligations and responsibilities. I'm just hoping freeing up my weekday to get schoolwork done while sleeping enough every night will give me more energy to take time off on the weekends and relax with the things I love.

Friday I meet with my adviser about my dissertation - what I'm going to propose and when I'm finally going to propose it. There is only 2 1/2 weeks left of the semester and the days are flying by fast!

PS. I have an inkling for a new direction this blog might take so stay tuned!

For the Love of It

Are you disappointed when you did something amazing but had no audience? Are you doing something for the love of it, or are you simply performing for others? The former cultivates passion and joy, and the latter harbors bitterness and discontent.

Back to the Basics

I've been feeling a ton of unrest and angst lately which has kept me from blogging more than I wish to. I've been carrying around this ache in my stomach everywhere I go -- an ache that is a mixture of dread, shame, guilt, and self-doubt -- in my yoga classes, school activities, even my friendships. In fact, it got so bad that I crawled into bed one Monday and with the exception of a few yoga classes I had to teach, I did not emerge until Friday morning.

Something was terribly wrong. 

We are called to live in freedom. To experience unconditional joy and peace. Yet it was like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders and I was teetering at the edge of depression without a clue as to why. So I turned to the only place I knew I could find some answers. And I read this passage:

Psalm 142:1-3: "I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way."

I used to trust that God had prepared my way for me, but somehow along the way I lost that trust. I took my circumstances under my own control and began to lose my way. My ego surfaced, and took over everything I did. I operated out of fear rather than love, and began to experience self-condemnation instead of fear. Instead of yoga students, I was seeing numbers that both fattened my wallet and increased my sense of accomplishment. Instead of theoretical knowledge, I was focused on publications and padding my CV. Instead of friendships, I was focused on validation. I lost the love of everything I was doing and instead became a slave to my commitments. 

It's time to go back to the basics.

I'm simplifying. I'm stepping out in faith in my financial situation and dropping half the yoga classes I teach. Furthermore, I'm going to focus on being a yoga student and loving the practice again. I'm also going to cut down the number of research projects I'm running to make time for the few that are important to me. And I'm going to take time each week to do the little things I love: peruse museums, play music, take pictures, and drop by a jazz club. I'm going to rediscover why I love what I do: how yoga can transform lives, and how knowledge can be used to break the bonds of social injustice.

Let's see where this takes me...

So Powerful!

Oh Sesame Street, you make me proud!

New laptop soon!

 Lots to update on, but didn't have the ability to update my blog as I've been sans laptop for about 3 weeks now. After much drama, I'll finally be able to pick up my replacement laptop tonight. Keep your fingers crossed that there are no glitches with this one!

The Cup

Elizabeth Sherrill, author of "All the Way to Heaven" puts it much more eloquently than I ever could:

"In Can You Drink the Cup? [Henri] Nouwen writes of 'the Cup of Sorrow.' Famine, epidemics, child prostitution, in his global travels Nouwen had grieved over all of them. He lived daily with the sorrows of the mentally handicapped. And he had his own times of depression and doubt.

"'There was a time,' he wrote, 'when I said, "Next year I will finally have it together," or "When I grow more mature these moments of inner darkness will go."'

"Christian maturity -- this was the very subject I'd hoped to ask him about! I too was always waiting for unwanted traits to fall away. Someday I wouldn't have these cyclic depressions. Someday I'd be more outgoing. Someday I'd get my desk cleaned up.

"'But now I know,' Nouwen continued, 'that my sorrows are mine and will not leave me.'

"I read the words with dismay. Here was a modern-day saint who to the very end of his life could not eliminate the negatives in his personality. 'The adolescent struggle to find someone to love me...unfulfilled needs for affirmation...sorrow that I have not become who I wanted to be. They are very old and very deep sorrows and no amount of optimism will make them less.'

"But there's a surprise about this Cup, Nouwen went on. 'The cup of sorrow, inconceivable as it seems, is also a cup of joy.' He could not explain the mystery; he could only experience it. 'In the midst of the sorrows is consolation, in the midst of the darkness is light, in the midst of the despair is hope'

"In the midst...simultaneously...in the very worst moment. I thoguht of John in the ICU. Thought of the darkest times in my own life, and saw myself in such moments turning to God, gaining compassion, growing.

"And if I refuse the Cup? If I will not make peace with the flawed person I am -- what then?

"Maybe, I think, carrying on in my head the conversation I never had with Henri Nouwen, it's not my flaws that stand between me and heaven. Maybe it's that ideal image of myself. That serene, loving, well-organized creature-that-never-was. The effot to be perfect, Nouwen's insight suggests, may be hell's biggest temptation.

"My friend Lucia Ballantine gave me a verse by Leonard Cohen that I've taped tot he side of my still heaped-up desk.

Ring the bells that still can ring.

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.

That is how the light gets in." 

Balance

FINALLY some time to post. 

School got off to a rough start with my laptop breaking and me scrambling to find a way to keep up with research without being able to work from home (let's just say one too many super early mornings followed by late night at the office). My yoga practice was shot and consisted of me practicing whenever I could (random times, like between 9-10pm one day, 3:17-4 the next, etc). I was stressed about work, stressed about money, stressed about generally everything. I felt out of control. Which is ironic as my themes for this fall/semester are "balance" and "freedom."

Then I went to church on Sunday and the sermon blew my mind. Stick with me here because I know the sermon may seem unrelated at first.

We have been going through a 4-week series on Temptation, moving through the book of Hebrews, focusing on what grace is, and what it means to have Jesus as our high priest. This week, however, the sermon was about God as our Father. He is a disciplinary father, but the discipline is for our good. Jeff used the analogy of us gripping an electric fence, holding fast and unable to let go due to the current running through us. Discipline is painful, but it is a lesser pain to prevent us from suffering a greater pain. Discipline in this analogy would be us being forcefully wrenched from the electric fence. The wrenching is painful, yes, but it is a lesser pain compared to the pain of being electrocuted to death. Our God is a good God, and He is a father. And like (some of) our earthly fathers (and I am blessed enough to have a great father), He will not want to see His children suffer in great pain for long. So He will discipline when it is for our own good. Moreover, the end result of discipline will always be freedom. 

This is a simple concept, yet profound to me. I think as a Christian, I still live in a way where I feel condemned all the time. I try to keep myself in check, do the right things, and feel super guilty when I screw up. But what I'm starting to learn -- and this lesson became more solidified through the sermon -- is that the more I focus on my shortcomings, the less I focus on my goal, which is Christ. And so because of God's character, instead of focusing on keeping myself in check, I can just run after Him freely with no regard for anything else, and know that because He is a good father, He will correct me if I am doing something wrong.

Back to my unbalanced life of late. I realize that most of my imbalance comes from the stress of feeling like I'm not handling things right, that I keep screwing up and am falling short of my own expectations (I'm not doing enough research, I'm not getting a full yoga practice in daily, etc). But everything that needs to get done is getting done. They are just not getting in the order or the way I expect them to. So perhaps if I stop focusing on what I'm not doing (which is what is causing this feeling of unbalance), and just live and accomplish what I can to the best of my abilities, I'll find myself more balanced than not.

Surrendering to usher in freedom.

If things need to change in my life, I can trust that those things will become apparent soon. Until then, I can just focus on living without worrying about my shortcomings. And that, I believe, is the key to balance and freedom.

Meditation

"We watch a sunlight dust dance, and we try to be that lively, but nobody knows what music those particles hear. Each of us has a secret companion musician to dance to. Unique rhythmic play, a motion in the street we alone know and hear." ~ Rumi  

I've been feeling a lot of pressure lately. A lot of pressure to be a certain something, do a certain something. I've had responsibilities pulling me in so many different directions, which each responsibility telling me that it is the most important and deserves my full attention. No wonder I've been withdrawing from social scenes and acting extremely introverted lately.

Over the next 12 weeks I'm going through Richard Foster's Book "Celebration of Discipline" where one by one, he takes you through 12 different spiritual disciplines. This week is meditation. The difference between Christian meditation and other forms of meditation (such as Buddhist meditation) is that while the goal in most spiritual meditation involves emptying the mind and detaching from the world, Christian meditation involves filling the mind with and attaching to God. It's very essence, explains Foster, is to be able to hear God's voice and obey His word.

Meditation is scary. It quiets the mind and quiets all the external voices from other people that tell me who I should be and what I should do. That leaves me with God. Just me and God. No one and nothing else to hide behind.

I often look at people who do it all and do it all well and I envy them. I envy how their lives are so put together and how they can be so accomplished and successful. And I think that envy is a catalyst for my taking on so much and thinking that I can do everything. I see role models in my life and wonder how I can be more like them. Yet as Rumi says, we can only dance to our own secret music companion. My life is going to be different from theirs, and I can only live my own life and not someone else's. And I'm realizing that the only way I can hear the music companion of my own life is to be alone and sit in meditation in front of the Creator of the universe.

The Healing Power of Yoga

This past weekend and week I've been doing an Ashtanga training with Nancy Gilgoff. Nancy has been practicing Ashtanga for almost 40 years, and is pretty much the female expert on the practice, being pretty much the longest female practitioner of this form of yoga. Having attended workshops and trainings with Manju Jois, David Williams, and David Swenson, I'm still blown away from what I'm learning from Nancy.

To sum it up, Nancy was a physical wreck when she started yoga, and Ashtanga healed her body. Not only that, but her nervous system/energy levels were completely out of whack and to this day, she relies on yoga to help her find balance. Because of this, she has a very firm belief in Ashtanga as an energetic practice, one that has the power to heal bodies beyond what Western medicine can understand.

As a teacher, I had many questions for her during her clinics about alignment and adjustments. Finally, she put me in my place yesterday and told me straight up "Ashtanga is not about alignments. Stop thinking so much with your head and practice with the body!"

That is difficult for me, no doubt, since I'm a very cerebral person (I am an academic, after all!), but I tried. So today, I rolled out my mat and forgot about everything except for three things that Nancy keeps emphasizing:

1. How can I make this practice as efficient as possible? (read: how can I minimize the amount of movement/fidgeting) 

2. How can I maintain my bandhas in every posture? (this involves a lot of back-rounding and curling in)

3. How can I effectively channel energy through the body and keep the circuit flowing? (this changes a lot of my hand options and the way I bind my hands)

Let me just say wow. WOW. Yoga releases a lot of emotions, and on Sunday Nancy held us in Kapotasana (pictured below) for almost 20 breaths. I have done backbends now for years without any emotional reactions (it's usually hip-openers that get me). Well, let's just say I felt a hint of tears after that backbend. And it wasn't until Monday night that all of a sudden I burst into tears. I'm now starting to recognize that really dedicating myself to this practice is life-changing. Just in the few days I've been practicing with Nancy, some hormonal imbalances I've had for years are starting to regulate. My spine is aching a little the way it used to when I had scoliosis, but I'm told that it's my body reliving old injuries as a process of healing itself. 

One thing I love about Nancy is that even after 40 years of practicing, she still says things like "I'm just now starting to get this thing," or "I haven't figured this out...yet..." She has inspired me to be a firm believer in the practice of Ashtanga. 

Luckily, I am almost done teaching Vinyasa. So starting September, I'm going to throw myself into the practice of Ashtanga. For a year, I will follow the traditional practice: 5 days a week Mysore and a weekly led Primary class. Rest on moon days and first 3 days of the ladies cycle. Weekly coconut oil baths and monthly castor oil baths (more on that later). And let's see what it does!

New Beginnings

Life's a-changing lately. I finally settled into my new cute little Hyde Park studio and am living on my own again. It's strange, it seems like life after Israel has been completely different than life before. I've found that my schedule has changed drastically, life has been simplified, and even my social circle has shifted slightly.

There is a fantastic quote my friend Noelle shared with me awhile back:

There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don't expect you to save the world, I do think it's not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness with those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary, and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair, and disrespect. -- Nikki Giovanni

As much as I believe we are always called to embrace and serve others, I am starting the see the importance of carefully choosing who you surround yourself with. A dear friend of mine shared with me last week that in our life we have life-draining relationships and life-giving relationships. "Our friendship," he shared, "is life-giving."


Since then I've had that conversation with a few others. It's not that I'm simply surrounding myself with those who benefit me, but that I'm choosing to be with those who together we add to life whether than take away from it. Heck, Jesus did it when He surrounded Himself with Peter, James, and John on the darkest nights of His life.


And I guess that's what I'm trying to ask myself in making any decisions in my life. Are my actions (or my words, career-decisions, activities) glorifying and life-giving, or are they life-destroying?


That being said, lately life's been a-changing. Yesterday evening, I taught my last yoga class at UT. This morning, I'm excited to say I signed my contract to teach yoga at Castle Hill. I also took the leap and bought a domain name and ordered business cards in order to market myself as a bona fide yoga teacher. Finally, this evening, I'm embarking on a week-long Ashtanga training with Nancy Gilgoff!!

Herzliya

I’m now at IARR in Herzliya and am going to take a break from blogging for a little bit (at least until I return to the States). Our hotel overlooks the Mediterranean Sea so I’ve been attending the conference, and spending my spare time on the beach. Today I played hooky altogether and slept in, resting up before life gets stressful again when I go home. After eating my last falafel pita in Israel (the conference will feed us all day tomorrow) I took a long nap on the beach, then headed back to my hotel room to work on my presentation. After the sunset, I took a long walk on the beach, and swam in the waves. The beaches in Israel are absolutely marvelous at night.

Lots of research ideas and life-thoughts swirling in my head, and hopefully I’ll be able to process enough to share at some point. As much as I love Israel, I’m ready to sleep in my own bed again.

A Conversation Along the Mediterranean

He said, “Walk with Me.”

                So I did.

My feet left a pattern of soft, crunchy indentations along the slick sand.

Fireworks ignited in the distance.

                Then it was quiet.

Nothing, just the sound of foamy waves crashing on the shore, leaving behind a trail of broken shells.

                The sound echoed the torrent swirling within me, disquieting the heart.

“Be still, My love, and have faith. As I calmed the Sea of Galilee, I will calm the storm within you.

So I stopped and offered to Him my tired and ragged heart.

“My grace is sufficient,” He said. “My love for you runs deep.

                “I will cover your wounds and your fears and leave you wanting nothing, fearing nothing.

“Have faith, My love, and trust in Me.”

 “Walk with Me,” He said.

                So I did.

Wednesday: The Wailing Wall

Early morning, we drove to the Wailing Wall and the Temple Mount. The Wailing Wall was such a powerful experience. Dozens of Christians and Jews were praying and crying by the temple. Because the Jews are not allowed onto the Temple Mount, this is the closest they are able to get to the wall. I also said a prayer by the wall, and was completely blown away by how powerful the Spirit was there.

 We then headed to the Temple Mount. Ezra, our tour guide was very bitter about the state of the Temple Mount (He is a non-religious Zionist Jew, whatever that means) and so I’m sure the information he shared with us was more biased that most. Still, it is very tragic that the Muslims built their Temple right over where Solomon’s Temple was buried, and will not let the Jews excavate, even though it may be very likely that the Ark of the Covenant is buried underneath. The Dome of the Rock was beautiful, nonetheless.

Then we walked along the Via Dolorosa, stopping at all of the stations. Most of the road is now overridden with shops, but you can still see the stations marked along the way with little churches and altars marking the significance of the site. We ended at the Holy Sepulchre, where both the cross was raised, and where the tomb of Jesus was believed to be (there is so much debate on that topic, and now people are saying it is unlikely that is the tomb of Jesus).

 Ezra also showed us a little chamber where Queen Helena discovered what she claims to be the cross on which Jesus was hung. That cross is now cut into tiny pieces and transported to different churches across the world.

We walked over the ruins of Cardo, the main street in Jerusalem during Jesus’ time, and went to the Dormition Abbey, where Mary’s tomb is.

We then visited the site of the Last Supper, which coincidentally is right over King David’s tomb. This site is the only site that is important to all three major religions: Christians, Jews, and Muslims, and they actually agree to share.

We then walked over the Mount of Olives (where Jesus ascended) and through the Garden of Gethsemane. There was a church next to the garden and we sat in on some of the most beautiful singing I’ve heard.

Finally, we hopped back on the bus to En Karam, where Elizabeth and Mary met while they were pregnant with John the Baptist and Jesus. Here, my camera ran out of batteries, but I did capture of a wall of prayers written in different languages.

E, A, and I asked to be dropped off at the Old City where we grabbed dinner (hummus and falafel, of course!) We then sat at the Wailing Wall, praying and reading scripture (reading Solomon's dedication for the temple in 1 Kings while sitting in front of the wall was an amazing experience!) until after the sun set. It was an amazing last evening in Jerusalem!

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Tuesday: Early in the morning, we got on the bus with 34 other people (huge group this time) and visited the museum that held the Dead Sea Scrolls. Apparently, the actual scrolls were not on display (surprise, surprise), but the replicas could have fooled me! The museum was beautiful – it was underground, but t was shaped like one of the jars in which the scrolls were found. No pictures were allowed, but I took a picture of the dome covered the museum (a dome that is built to be like the top of the jar).

Afterward, we headed to the Holocaust Museum. It was a really powerful experience, walking through the experiences of the Jews. I’m still trying to process it all. One thing I did notice that really surprised me was how there was still a lot of bitterness towards America’s late involvement in the war, and that bitterness came out very strongly in the museum displays. There was a lot of bitterness against Christianity as well. In some ways, I think these world affairs are a Catch-22 for America. Countries get angry when the US get involved, but then they also get angry when the US doesn’t. There were a few people from Uganda on the trip and we heard them commiserating with our tour guide about how the US didn’t seem to care about their prospective plights. It made me a little bit angry, but at the same time it made me very aware of how sheltered I am in the states.

I mean, I can’t really imagine being an Israeli Jew. You get kicked out of your own land centuries ago and are forced to assimilate into other cultures. Then during World War II, those countries that you’ve assimilated with turn on you and treat you inhumanely and then murder those of your race. When you are finally liberated (albeit orphaned and humiliated), you have to fight tooth and nail to stay on your own land. Most of the world does not recognize you as a nation, and another people group has forbidden you to enter the most sacred place for your people – the only place you believe that God resides in.

I can’t even imagine.

On that sobering note, we drive to Bethlehem, which is actually Palestinean land. We pass through a heavily guarded security checkpoint and enter into the city in which Jesus was born. A church is built over the location, and the church is a source of great conflict between the Greek Orthodox Church, the Roman Catholic Church, and the Armenian Church. The Greek Orthodox Church and the Armenian Church share an entrance to the church (a famous entrance, apparently), and the Roman Catholic Church has a separate entrance off to the side. The church was beautiful.

Tunnel leading to the Manger Cave:

The spot where Jesus was born:

Where the manger was located

This is also the church from which the Roman Catholic Church broadcasts their Mass every Christmas.

Old Bethlehem:

This used to be the shepherd's fields - likely where the host of angels appeared to the shepherds:

Spa Day!

Backtrack to Monday:

Today was a very good day for me. After making sure I’ve had downtime between the tours and nighttime activities, I’m feeling like a million bucks! Though I’ve got to stop eating snacks and granola bars instead of real meals – I’m actually starting to pack on the patties here in Israel!

The morning started off with a tour of Masada. When I get back to the States, first thing I’m going to do is to get my hands on either the 90 minute movie, or the 8.5 hour miniseries about Masada. Masada is like the Alamo of the Jews. Except more powerful. Herod originally built and fortified Masada as a citadel. According to our guide Alex, it was a very good investment as the city saved Herod’s life at one point. Apparently, after Herod's death, and when the Romans were conquering Jewish lands, a sect of the Jews took refuge and built a self-sustaining city on top of a mesa in a Judean Desert overlooking the Dead Sea. The inhabitants mastered the art of collecting water, and were able to survive comfortably, planting gardens and even building swimming pools. However, the Romans were able to build a rampart and breach the walls with a battering ram. Rather than surrender to the Romans, the inhabitants of Masada decided to take their own lives. Because suicide was looked down upon in the Jewish culture, ten soldiers killed all the citizens: men, women, and children. The ten then drew lots to choose which soldier would kill the other nine before taking his own life. The inhabitants burned everything except for the food to show the Roman soldiers that their death was not due to a lack of resources.

                                                                                                                                                            

Two women and five children hid in cisterns and lived to tell the tale. In 1963, excavations revealed confirmation of their stories.

We then visited the Qumran Caves where the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered. The Qumran Caves was home to a Jewish sect, the Essenes, who basically were an ancient Jewish monastery, if there was such a thing. They placed a lot of focus on purification rituals, and spent long hours copying holy texts on scrolls. The Dead Sea Scrolls are a collection of about 900 documents, including the Hebrew Bible, “Apocryphal” manuscripts, and other “Sectarian” manuscripts.

And finally, we got to the part of the trip I was looking forward to the most: The Dead Sea! The Dead Sea is the lowest point on earth (in fact, the bar next to it boasted on its sign that it was the “lowest bar” in the world…) and the water contains about 35% salt. The Dead Sea was so salty as opposed to the Red Sea even though they are both fed by the Jordan River is because the Red Sea empties out to another river, while the Dead Sea is landlocked. So water flows in, but water does not flow out. As a result, the only way for the water to exit is through evaporation, leaving all the rich minerals behind. Because so much of the water is being used for tourism, the Dead Sea is slowly drying out; in fact some predict that if nothing is done, the Dead Sea will disappear by 2050!

The Dead Sea REALLY is salty. To float, you sit in the water and lean back. Next thing you know, you are floating on your back. The floor of the sea is slimy mud. I slathered it all over my body and let it wash off as I floated. I can understand why people sell this mud as spa treatments – my skin has never felt so soft! It really is like a day at the spa. One thing I was unprepared for though, is how salty my skin got. A little water splashed on my face and lips (you REALLY have to watch the eyes in the Dead Sea – OUCH!), and as the water dried, it left a film of salt all over me. By the end of my float, my lips were puckered up from all the salt! As Alex said to us – make sure you rinse off thoroughly after the float. Otherwise you will end up like Lot’s wife: a pillar of salt! It was SUCH a great experience!

Back to the hotel we go. Tomorrow we join a new tour guide (on a bona fide tour bus!) who will take us to more Holy sites. Tomorrow is also a holy day in Jerusalem (something about ….?) and so EVERYTHING is closed just like on the Sabbath. 

Thoughts on the Holy Sites

I FINALLY found free Internet again! Anyway...backtrack to Sunday.

When I signed up for an 8 day tour of Israel, I thought that it would be very meaningful to see all the Holy Lands. And don’t get me wrong, the tour has in part been very powerful. But what disappointed me was that above each site is now a church, built to commemorate such a holy event. Not only that, but those who own the property now charge admission prices for sight-seers to view that holy event, and vendors around the site sell goods that capitalizes on the fact that, for example, here was the place Jesus turned water to wine (there were in fact a LOT of wine in the gift shops at Cana).

It all just seems so…irreverent.

The fact of the matter is while it is significant to me what Jesus did in those areas, the event is in the past. And we have just as much access to Jesus anywhere else. I can’t help but feel like the reverence people attach to the Holy Lands is bordering idolatry. But then it could just be that I am in need of a good dose of reverence in my own life.

For me personally, the Holy Lands are a reminder of the nearness of God, and the fact there are still remnants of his corporeal visit on this planet, and that’s about where it ends for me.

That being said, we visited a few places of significance today.

The first site we visited was Cana, where Jesus performed His first miracle. The Biblical wedding took place in a house, on top of which today sits a church. We were able to walk downstairs and see remains of the original house as well as some cisterns they were able to recover. It was in cisterns such as the ones we saw that the water was converted to wine.

The second site was Nazareth, specifically the annunciation site where Mary was visited by Gabriel. On top of Mary’s house today is now the largest church in the Middle East. Many countries donated to build that church, including the United States (who now has a LARGE sculpture inside the main sanctuary to evidence its contribution). A smaller altar sites on the first floor, and just behind one of the altars is the entrance to Mary’s house. Mass is held at this church regularly – in fact, we even sat in on the service for a bit and took pictures (which felt fundamentally wrong to me, but hey, when in Rome…er, Nazareth…)

Finally, we went to Beit Shean which was, as Alex describes, the Las Vegas of Roman cities. Back in Old Testament times it was where Saul and his sons were hung after they were killed in battle. During the Roman era, it became one of the flashiest Roman cities. This is one of the major excavation sites in Israel, and only about 5% of the city is currently uncovered. However, Alex was able to give us a tour of the theater, the elaborate bathhouses, some residential areas, outdoor theaters, the amphitheater, and the main street.

I was wondering why I was petering out so quickly lately during the tours. Part of it is touring is hard work, and I’ve been at it for a week in a half. Another part, I found out today, was the temperature was about 110 degrees Fahrenheit…in the shade! Not only that, but we are pretty much below sea level this whole time. After a Falafel lunch, we drove back to Jerusalem where we will be staying in the same hotel for FOUR NIGHTS (!!) (That is a luxury at this point, trust me).  Today marks the halfway point of my time in Israel. Let’s see how the second half of the trip goes!