...the sad reality of leaving Michigan next fall has set in. It's ironic - I spent the last 3 years dreaming of how I would escape from Ann Arbor. Although Ann Arbor is a great place to live (containing museums, a great music scene, restaurants and night life, talented artists traveling through, great libraries), after living here for over 4 years I started to get bored with the town. It's like I've seen and experienced Ann Arbor, and I just wanted to move on. I wanted to reside in the Big Apple or Sunny California. But just as I am on the brink of leaving Ann Arbor, I'm falling in love with the town all over again.
There's a big part of me that still yearns to spread my wings and live somewhere outside of the midwest. I know once I get there I won't regret the move and I'll be excited to make new friends and begin grad school.
But there's a part of me that is realizing what I'm leaving behind. I've never lived more than 30 miles away from my parents. Living close to my parents is like a security blanket - although I don't take advantage of their proximity enough, just knowing they're within a half hour drive away is comforting. As my close friends are increasingly non-students or at least off-campus, Ann Arbor has become a new city to me. I'm getting to know Ann Arbor as more than just the downtown. Not only that, but after being away from the downtown area this past year, I'm starting to see the shops through different eyes. Coffee shops are not study areas; rather I appreciate them for the yummy drinks they sell, their decorations, their music. I've started thinking like a townie, dreading the annual Art Fair while taking pride in local perks like the Farmer's Market, Artisan's Market, and Zingerman's fresh-baked bread. I actually have time to take strolls down the streets and windowshop at mom-and-pop shops and local boutiques on Main Street. I'd be leaving all this behind. I'd also be leaving K behind.
Over the next two months, I'll be hearing back from schools. I applied to 9 schools, all far away from here, and last minute I submitted a 10th application to the University of Michigan. I guess I've been operating under the assumption that since I've submitted that application, I'll have a choice to stay. Reality is, I most likely won't have a choice of staying in Ann Arbor. My program does not like to accept its undergraduates, and on top of which UM is very competitive, ranked 2nd in the nation. Maybe it's a good thing I don't have to wrestle with the decision of staying in Ann Arbor. But I wonder, if I got in, would I choose to stay?
2 comments:
I totally hear ya. I feel the same way especially because my parents also were never more than 30 minutes away.
I'm excited for the fact that something good and new will come when we leave, but sad because I know there will be times when it feels like it's taking forever to get back the kinds of things we left behind (friendships, working relationships, church, etc).
haha. So, I didn't realize that what I was saying today about being nervous about leaving A2 and yet still wanting to "get out" was almost a mirror image of what you said here. Strange! Have a good week Tracy :)
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