Another Year

Two days ago, I got the best Christmas present. My paper was accepted by the Psychology of Women Quarterly. After over a year of trying, I'm finally getting published!!

Crazy to think in a few days it'll be 2007. I'm sitting in my aunt's living room in NYC by myself, enjoying some some alone time for the first time in days. Alone time is rare during family vacations. Maybe I'll even go out for a walk on this remarkably warm winter day!

The year 2006 was pretty tumultuous and eventful. A lot of changes took place in my life. I feel like I changed a lot, yet at times, it seems like Christmas 2005 was just yesterday and I'm still the same person. This time last year I was in NYC, coming up with my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. I remember actually accomplishing quite a few of those tasks before scrapping the whole idea.

Making resolutions is one of my favorite activities of the year. I think this year, I'll make 5 goals each month to accomplish.

January:
1. Do data analysis on my research study and begin drafting a manucript for publication.
2. Be at work by 8:30 AM at least 4 mornings a week
3. Stick to a workout plan: cardio 3x/week, yoga 1x/week
4. Sleep at least 7 hours a night, 5 nights a week
5. Finish the book "The Five Points of Calvinism"

Ethan Lorac Gonick

Today one of my dearest friends of 7 years gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! Ethan was born at 3:25 AM weighing 7 lbs, 11 ounces. I'm so proud of my Marta!!

Here's the little man. He looks just like his daddy!













Gazing up at his mom.













Baby Ethan meets Auntie Tracy for the first time!

Today...

...the sad reality of leaving Michigan next fall has set in. It's ironic - I spent the last 3 years dreaming of how I would escape from Ann Arbor. Although Ann Arbor is a great place to live (containing museums, a great music scene, restaurants and night life, talented artists traveling through, great libraries), after living here for over 4 years I started to get bored with the town. It's like I've seen and experienced Ann Arbor, and I just wanted to move on. I wanted to reside in the Big Apple or Sunny California. But just as I am on the brink of leaving Ann Arbor, I'm falling in love with the town all over again.

There's a big part of me that still yearns to spread my wings and live somewhere outside of the midwest. I know once I get there I won't regret the move and I'll be excited to make new friends and begin grad school.

But there's a part of me that is realizing what I'm leaving behind. I've never lived more than 30 miles away from my parents. Living close to my parents is like a security blanket - although I don't take advantage of their proximity enough, just knowing they're within a half hour drive away is comforting. As my close friends are increasingly non-students or at least off-campus, Ann Arbor has become a new city to me. I'm getting to know Ann Arbor as more than just the downtown. Not only that, but after being away from the downtown area this past year, I'm starting to see the shops through different eyes. Coffee shops are not study areas; rather I appreciate them for the yummy drinks they sell, their decorations, their music. I've started thinking like a townie, dreading the annual Art Fair while taking pride in local perks like the Farmer's Market, Artisan's Market, and Zingerman's fresh-baked bread. I actually have time to take strolls down the streets and windowshop at mom-and-pop shops and local boutiques on Main Street. I'd be leaving all this behind. I'd also be leaving K behind.

Over the next two months, I'll be hearing back from schools. I applied to 9 schools, all far away from here, and last minute I submitted a 10th application to the University of Michigan. I guess I've been operating under the assumption that since I've submitted that application, I'll have a choice to stay. Reality is, I most likely won't have a choice of staying in Ann Arbor. My program does not like to accept its undergraduates, and on top of which UM is very competitive, ranked 2nd in the nation. Maybe it's a good thing I don't have to wrestle with the decision of staying in Ann Arbor. But I wonder, if I got in, would I choose to stay?

1 Corinthians 1

This morning I woke up overwhelmed by the brokenness in this world. I was saddened by how difficult it is for myself and close friends around me to truly grasp the concept of Lordship and what it means to desire Jesus to be Lord of our lives. I was saddened by the struggle between the mind and the flesh (Romans 7:21-25) and how we often allow our flesh to win out. I was discouraged by the struggle between self-righteousness/pride and an acute awareness of hypocrisy and sin in my life. I was also saddened by how little I really understand love as explained in 1 Corinthians 13. I was overwhelmed by how difficult it is to be Christians, redeemed by Christ, but still living with sin, on this side of Heaven.

I don't know what led me to read 1 Corinthians again, but it brought me so much encouragement.

1. Who we are is a result of God's grace. Our understanding and knowledge of Him, our ability to live for him, our being made Holy is a result of Christ's death on the cross. So the promise that "He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ" is able to come true because it is not dependent on my efforts, but on Christ. No matter how far I've fallen, no matter how broken I am, Christ is able to keep me strong and pressing on toward His holiness. And He is faithful.
2. Christ is unity. We are called to be in unity with one another. There is no room for pride and self-righteousness because all we know is by the grace of God. This is an urgent reminder for me as I'm in the middle of conflicts within a Christian group I am involved in. One thing I need to keep reminding myself is that the only boasting I can do is in the Lord. It is a call to humble myself and vigilantly watch my own motives. It also is a call to rely on Christ for the unity He calls us to.

Scripture is so life-giving and encouraging. It is also convicting. I began this morning discouraged, but now I am encouraged. The power of the cross of Christ is something that I feel I am barely starting to grasp. How nature must have groaned for the coming of Christ and the fulfillment of the law! Maybe I'm finally beginning to appreciate the Advent season.

Winter Evenings and Budget Dates

WINTER EVENINGS

I wish I had a fireplace.

Since yesterday I've been wanting to just laze at home, eat a bowl of steamy clam chowder, munch on gummy dinos and watch TV. Maybe that's what I'll do tomorrow to start my weekend off.

DATING ON A BUDGET

Last weekend was a lot of fun. K took me on a budget date consisting of the Fleetwood for dinner, walking around downtown, browsing Borders, and then movie at the dollar theater. We went shopping at Twelve Oaks on Saturday and with the sales and my coupons, he got a lambswool sweater for $15 and I got a sweatercoat for the same price. I love how we're cheap...er, I mean, frugal. That's how we started off - our first date ever was the dollar theater (where I snuck in a box of Gobstoppers) then appetizers at Applebees. We're breaking that trend next time and going somewhere pricy for dinner before the Firefly Club. Any suggestions? Pacific Rim? Blue Nile? Zingerman's Roadhouse? I'm unfamiliar with most of the expensive restaurants in Ann Arbor.

FRANKENMUTH

Having lived in Michigan for 11 1/2 years (wow has it been that long?!), I've actually never got around to visiting Frankenmuth. I'm going on Saturday with some friends. Anyone have any suggestions or advice about where to eat or what to visit??

WHITE ELEPHANT CHRISTMAS PARTY

I never know what to get for White Elephant gifts. I have to get a gift by Sunday. The goal is to be funny, but the last time I brought something I thought was hilarious to one of these things, no one got it. I'm also making my butternut squash pie again. I made one for a potluck last week and it was a hit.

It's snowing

Hello winter

Simple Devotion

There's been a stirring in me lately.

Two years ago I went to Kansas City, MO for the One Thing conference put on by the International House of Prayer. The conference was lifechanging, making real to me the concept of the church as the bride of Christ and introducing to me what it means to be in a love relationship with God. The International House of Prayer focuses on sitting at the feet of Jesus in prayer, silence, or reading the Word, oftentimes for hours at a time. Sometimes we get up still feeling empty. Sometimes we get up with new truths imprinted on our hearts. But the important thing is that we worshipped God.

How far I've come from that! One of the lessons that has been coming up in my life is "garbage in, garbage out." I find that my lifestyle and choices have allowed me to get to a place where I can't sit still for even 15 minutes. I have to make a conscious choice to go back to basics, and it's a choice I can't put off anymore.

I'm listening to Misty Edwards's song Simple Devotion. It's one of the most beautiful and purest songs I've listened to:

Simple Devotion - Misty Edwards

Over and over and over and over again
I will stir in my soul to lay hold of You
Over and over and over and over again
I will stir in my soul to lay hold of that which I cannot comprehend
Over and over and over and over again
Over and over and over and over again

And then I'll just kneel in the sovereignty
I'll embrace a mystery
I'll just rest in You
As I bathe in truth

Over and over and over and over agian
This is my simple devotion, my walk of faith, and day by day
Over and over and over and over again

And then I hear You say as You gaze over the balcony of heaven
I hear You say as You peer through the lines of time
I hear You say as You stand in Heaven
I hear You say as You rejoice over me

"Oh angels oh angels look and see, through that dark night of faith she is gazing at Me

Oh angels oh angels look and see, through that cloud of unknowing she's gazing at Me
and you have ravished My heart, My sister My bride with one glance of your eye"