Who I am

Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God. "For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you," says the LORD your Redeemer. "To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:4-10, TNIV

I had an amazing "Psychology meets Theology" moment last week. Both a Psychology lecture I attended and a book I was reading ("Renovation of the Heart" by Dallas Willard) addressed the concept of self-esteem. Self-help books and Psychological studies are always looking for ways to boost self-esteem because that's what they believe promote well-being. However, focusing on self-esteem has actually been found to be detrimental to well-being as there are pressures such as how to keep the self-esteem boosted, keeping up a front, etc. Instead, Psychology is beginning to find that the key to well-being is self-compassion: being able to accept oneself and to love oneself. Funny - that's what Dallas Willard says too in a book he wrote years ago before this was discovered in Psychology.

I found that to be extremely freeing and life-changing. Instead of trying to be something, I first have to start with loving myself and forgiving myself. Instead of worrying how others see me, I have to be okay with how I see myself. I have to start with letting go of expectations I have for myself and instead be okay with who I am. It doesn't mean neglecting spiritual formation and character building - it just means to not be bound by a self-set agenda.

The only way to have this self-acceptance and self-compassion, I've found, is a deeper understanding of who I am in Christ. And this passage of Isaiah illustrates the love relationship we have with Him - the romance between God and us (me). It's so easy to be caught up in legalism, but when you understand Christianity as a relational covenant, you find abundant grace, unconditional acceptance, and an everlasting love.