A Slice of Humble Pie

I had a good Thanksgiving. The food turned out well, the company was great. =) The weekend was oh-too-short but still restful. I also finished *almost* all of my Christmas shopping and bought myself a nice black blazer for $9 marked down from $80.

This weekend was just a good time to reflect on character and grace toward one another. I do have a tendency to be hard on people and to see only their faults. Yet two things have humbled me recently. First is my studying for the Psych GRE. The difficult thing about studying Psychology and people's personalities and/or dysfunctions is that oftentimes you end up studying yourself. I realized one day that I was reading about myself and that the picture was not attractive. I realized that trait that I value in others and myself can be both positive and negative, and lately I've been using those traits negatively. Second is my boyfriend. One thing I've learned is that relationships bring out the best and worst in people and act as one of the most accurate reflectors of who we are. I realized recently that the areas I thought I've matured in still need a lot of work. I've newly discovered a lot of selfishness and self-centeredness in my thinking and my desires. Truth is freeing, but is also accompanied by shame (which precedes repentence) and conviction. I realize that I cannot judge and I cannot criticize outside of mutual and loving disciple/accountability with the body Christ. I should not vent about others because venting is gossip disguised as false concern which only serves to fuel negative feelings toward others around me. I cannot deny others the grace that I myself ask of them.

All these realizations left me feelings pretty crappy about myself until I read Psalm 3. Because we know that David was "a man after God's own heart," we fail to truly appreciate David's faith and confidence. Although David had prophets to point him in the right direction from time to time, his interactions with God probably looked much like ours do today. I wonder if he ever questioned his calling to be king, especially when some hated him and wanted to kill him. Despite that, he was able to cling to incredible hope and faith and say "You are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glorly on me and lift up my head." The Lord is the lifter of our heads. I may feel crappy and realize the extent of my faults. Still, the Lord is the lifter of my head. The Lord has seen and continues to see all our shortcomings, andHe is strong when we are weak. I can go forward confidently knowing that I am called by God and that He is my shield, my strength, and my keeper. I will not cheapen the cross by denying the freedom He has bought me. I will not trivialize his majesty and holiness by failing to recognize the soveriengty of His plans and the steadfastness of His character. What a tremendous peace we can gain from knowing our God!

On a lighter note, I cooked this for my man yesterday:

In return, he bought me a bouquet of beautiful and aromatic lillies. I don't have a digital camera, but I found a picture of lillies that look just like the ones sitting on my bookcase. =)