Hope

" ...Let the past sleep, but let it sleep in the sweet embrace of Christ, and let us go on into the invincible future with Him... We will have times of despair caused by real events in our lives, and we will be unable to lift ourselves out of them. The disciples...had done a downright unthinkable thing -- they had gone to sleep instead of watching with Jesus. But our Lord came to them taking the spiritual initiative against their despair and said, in effect, 'Get up, and do the next thing.' If we are inspired by God, what is the next thing? It is to trust Him absolutely and to pray on the basis of His redemption. Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step." -- Oswald Chambers

Dysfunction

During a moment of temporary brainlessness, my oh-so-sensitive officemate let me know what he really thought about all my failed relationships:

Peace, in the midst of storm

Identity Replacement

Tomorrow morning I leave for Albuquerque, NM for a conference. Two years ago, I went to this conference in Palm Springs, CA - my first Psych conference ever. When I think back to that last trip, I cannot help but think, how life has changed!


This past weekend I had the privilege of having coffee with a new friend and sister in Christ. It was one of those conversations that allowed me to see the past two years through the lens of how God has moved in my life and what He's been working in me. I had mentioned in a previous post that perhaps all the struggles I faced, all the good and the bad, was a shattering of identities that were slowly turning into idols: a pianist, a musician, a worship leader, a "good Christian," a runner, a leader, even a good academic. What I'm finding, though, is that it is not enough to simply strip these identities. What is needed is to replace those with a new identity: beloved and valued by God.


As I was practicing yoga today, I realized that what hindered my progression and growth on the mat was a labeling of my abilities - trying to "place" myself in terms of how advanced or not I was rather than focusing on the practice itself. Maybe this is a metaphor of how I've been living my life: I keep trying to place a label on who I am at the moment and how I am progressing rather than focusing on BOLDLY walking forward in humility toward the goal knowing simply that I can. And what is the goal? I'm still trying to relearn that. Right now, what God is placing on my heart is to discover the "joy of my salvation" (from Psalm 51).


This month, my mantra is to practice satya, or truthfulness, in all I do and say. To me, that means to know my limits, to not try to do or be more than I am. On the flip side, it is to not try to do or be less than I am. Additionally, it is to speak truth no matter what, especially where there isn't.