I heart Social Psychology

Today is one of those days when I'm working on my research - either editing finished papers, writing up research proposals, or researching new ideas and topics - and it hits me that I'll be paid to do this someday. I can't wait. =)

dazed and confused

I woke up this morning dazed and confused. I guess the lack of sleep over the weekend really caught up with me and I ended up calling in sick this morning and slept like a log till 10:30 AM. I've been at work for a few hours now. Work is beginning to pile up and I still feel in a funk. Hmm...there was a GRE word I learned to describe that hazy funk...what was it? Not torpid.... I don't remember.

I had sushi for lunch today. Those big pieces of tempura shrimp are my favorite. Yum.

Can't believe Enoch's wedding is this Saturday. I echo Tamster's apprehensions about seeing everyone again. I still remember back in middle school when I used to stay up till 1 AM (soooo late back then) playing N64 with him while Esther watched and ate canned peaches on the couch. Then there were the millions of times I made Esther watch "While You Were Sleeping" with me. Ha - those were the days. I remember when Jean, Esther and I would bike to the mall and buy matching everything - Jean's in purple, Esther's in blue, and mine in green or brown, depending on my mood. Our families and Brian's family used to go camping together - once we got lost in Smokey Mountains for 9 hours and got so thirsty that we drank dirty creek water. It's amazing how far I've drifted from them. Now the only one I keep in touch with is Brian and he skipped town and moved to Chicago without telling me (yes, Brian, I'm still bitter about that). Yes, I'm apprehensive about Saturday, but I'm also excited about seeing everyone again.

Anyway, since Angel was sweet enough to compliment the pictures I took at the park this weekend, I'll post some for your enjoyment. I have to admit that autumn is still not my favorite season (although it certainly beats Michigan winters), but having a camera does cause it to be more enjoyable:

I've been dying to try out my new circular polarizing lens filter






Metro Park in Dexter

I wanna go out tonight...

I've been listening to the song "Out Tonight" on the RENT soundtrack, and it reflects my current sentiments to a tee (minus the sexual innuendos). As I'm making progress on my fellowship application, I realize that I haven't been out with my friends in a while outside of the weekly viewings of Veronica Mars and Grey's Anatomy. I've been feeling really emotional and angsty, and the Asian side of me is feeling victimized and abandoned by the people around me in Ann Arbor. So finally I decided to step out from wallowing in self-pity and have a few things to look forward to this week:

1. Dancing at LIVE with my girls G. and L.
2. Apple orchard if it doesn't rain on Saturday
3. Taking pictures with S. when the weather is nice

Other things I want to do with my girls before Christmas:

1. Spend a day at Frankenmuth
2. Outlet shopping at Birch Run
3. Girl's night out at a martini bar

Also, I was pleased to find that my gym moved up their Yoga classes to half hour earlier, meaning that I'll be able to make it to classes again and still be able to watch my TV shows. =) I'm pleased as pie.

On another note, I've been reading through Leviticus this week as a result of Sunday School homework. We're examining the tenants of worship as outlined in the book and discussing what they cost the Israelites. I noticed a few things while studying.

First, in order to follow the rules of cleanliness, etc, worship really has to be a priority for the Israelites over productivity or anything else. Holiness comes before anything else: if the Israelites touched something unclean or had a disease, they would have to put everything aside and follow the cleansing rituals. This is such a visual demonstration of the holiness of God and the isolation that results from sin. Also, the idea of engraving the law on our hearts take on a whole new meaning when following the law is so salient for society as a whole. In the world we live in today, it's so easy to fall into believing God is irrelevant to our lives and forgetting about Him outside Sundays or prayers of desperation. Although as a whole, I do not envy the laws and regulations the Israelites had to follow, but I do envy the constant focus on God they result in.

Secondly, God provided the Israelites with wealth and asked them to put it towards sacrifices and the tabernacle. The tabernacle is created with their most precious metals and gems, while burnt offerings consisted of the finest animals and grain. Although the priests were able to partake in some of the offering for food, the choicest part of the animals (organs, fat) were burnt and not to be eaten. It made me think about the heart with which I give. I always want to know where my money is going and only give toward something that I feel will benefit this world the best. But here, the Israelites' gifts aren't "doing" anything. Have we lost sight of worshiping God as an end to itself? I feel that I have.

Tired and Grumpy

I find myself tired and grumpy these days. The stress of running a research study and trying to publish a paper while applying for grad schools/fellowships and working full-time is finally getting to me. I find myself discouraged about my research abilities from even the slightest hiccup in anything that I'm doing, which stinks because it seems that almost everything I do during the weekday is research related. This discouragement is affecting my self-confidence which in turn affects my relationships. Grrrrr. I've been really bad about taking time to recharge.

I guess one thing I've learned is that life is never going to get less busy, no matter what I do. Taking time to recharge is something that I need to learn to do now rather than wait for that "someday" when everything will die down. Because it won't die down. And if I don't learn to sit still and enjoy life amid the craziness, next thing I know I'll be old and senile and have wasted my entire life waiting for that "someday."

Good news is that my fellowship application is due at the beginning of November. I'm also done with grad school applications. I just keep reminding myself that in 3 weeks, I'll be done with applications and anything else with a deadline for loooong time!

Thoughts from a Red Wings Game

Yesterday at work I get a call from my beau: "Yo, I got tickets for one of those executive suites through work for tonight's Red Wing's game. Wanna go?"

Not only have I been wanting to go to a hockey game, I was thrilled to get to sit in one of those executive boxes. I cancelled my plans for the evening and was on my way to Joe Louis Arena by 5:45. We arrived there and received VIP treatment: parking in the "full" garage while everyone else had to park a ways away, getting to ride up on the special elevators to the executive suites, eating a catered dinner with yummy drinks and chatting with schmoozers clad in business suits while everyone else in the arena munched on peanuts and drank $5 bottles of Miller Lite.

I didn't think anything of it until the company let us walk down to the rink and sit in the 7th row behind the opposing team's goal. That's when I realized how drab the executive suite was. Here in the stadium seats was the action. Here, you could hear the players yell for each other, watch the ice spray as they skid across the ice, hear the puck slap against the side of the rink (whatever the terminology is). Here you could hear the cheers, witness the speed at which the players were skating, and actually feel the excitement of the game resonate through your body.

I wonder, why would anyone want to pay for an executive suite?? The rink was so far away that you might as well be watching it on television at home, you can't hear the cheers, you don't get to experience the disgusting goodness of arena food, and half the people in the suite care more about the booze and schmooze than the game anyway. You're so high above everyone else - so ISOLATED. It's amazing how much money we pay to be isolated from the real world - is it a status thing?

I walked away thinking that I hope I never lose touch with the real world. I hope I will never be consumed with the desire for status and isolation from the common and the human. Give me the nosebleed section anytime! I hope I'm never rich.

Seasonal Shopping

It's autumn and I realize I have no clothes for the fall. For some bizarre reason, I can't find the box of sweaters I put away last spring so I bought a few tops I can wear until I find that box.

Although I love shoes and bags, I have a hard time justifying purchasing new ones since I feel that accessories come second to basic clothing. But...I realize the brown shoes I've been wearing for the last 4 years are fraying and the black shoes are so worn down that I'm getting blisters on the soles of my feet, so I sucked it up and purchased these on zappos.com:

Steve Madden's NY Oliesa

and Nine West Fadashia

I haven't bought winter shoes with higher heels in a long time (I usually buy 2 inch heels or kitten heels), but they're supposed to be really really comfortable and easy to walk in according to the customer reviews.

Now all that's left on my shopping list is a nice dress I can wear to fall/winter weddings and the Toyota Christmas Ball (I don't think that's the official name but that's what I'm calling it).