I've had an ongoing cold for the past few weeks that I can't seem to shake off.
Anyway, as part of my post-Psych GRE crisis, I plan to start at least 4 different hobbies: knitting, yoga, music (spending more time on it), and cooking. The cooking is going well. I'm trying one new recipe a week. First week I make pork with Rosemary. Second week I tried this beef stirfry with sugarpeas. This week, I may put this cooking on hold as I'm probably not going to be eating at home very much. The knitting is finally on its way too. As of last Sunday my living room was an explosion of yarn. This week (after three attempts and 8 hours of Law and Order SVU), I actually have two rows knitted. I plan on spending much more time on music in January and I'll start taking yoga classes then too.
Christmas present exchanging have started. Rob bought me nice leather gloves. My boss bought me a cashmere sweater. I've never cared about gifts but this year there are two things I particularly want this year (but know I won't get): 1) MP3 player (I actually really want an iPod - I sold out!!), and 2) a nice digital camera so I could start a 5th hobby: photography (but these are upwards of $1000 so I've not holding my breath!) All my Christmas shopping is bought and wrapped. I can't believe one week from now my trip to New York will be halfway over!! Crazy.
I looked at some apartments this week. I visited the Medical Center Court Apartments and also the Pheasant Run Apartments. I didn't get to tour the Medical Center Court Apartments since the office was closed but if I could get a good deal there it's close to where I work. Pheasant Run is more ideal (prices are much cheaper than the Internet says). They're REALLY nice, much less expensive, but they are also a little farther from campus than I like. I guess I'll resume looking in January.
That's it for now. I think I'm going to try the 1001 Day Project. I should come up with my list of things to do....
Monday, December 19, 2005
Friday, December 09, 2005
Singing in the Rain meets Hip-Hop meets Techno
Check this out if you have Quicktime. It made me laugh. =)
*edit*
A quick rant about landlords: so my landlord keeps making clerical mistakes and forgetting that my old security deposit transferred over to my new apartment and the leftover money covered Oct. rent. As a result, I get a phone call at the beginning of every month telling me that I owe money from October. Yesterday, I get an eviction notice in the mail (?!?!). I quickly call and find out that the same issue just was never clearly documented in our ledger. The guy promised he'd make the change but was really short with me on the phone. He told me that my balance was cleared up, that I could disregard the eviction notice, but one of my housemates forgot to pay this month's rent and will be charged a late fee. I asked him to fax me the ledger for my own protection that this would never happen again. 1/2 hour later, I receive the ledger in the fax with a note that said "we made another mistake: your housemate has paid the rent in full. all late fees are waived." grrrr!!!
Currently listening to: The Best of Ella Fitzgerald. Most of the songs on there are duets with Louis Armstrong. I REALLY like this CD.
*edit*
A quick rant about landlords: so my landlord keeps making clerical mistakes and forgetting that my old security deposit transferred over to my new apartment and the leftover money covered Oct. rent. As a result, I get a phone call at the beginning of every month telling me that I owe money from October. Yesterday, I get an eviction notice in the mail (?!?!). I quickly call and find out that the same issue just was never clearly documented in our ledger. The guy promised he'd make the change but was really short with me on the phone. He told me that my balance was cleared up, that I could disregard the eviction notice, but one of my housemates forgot to pay this month's rent and will be charged a late fee. I asked him to fax me the ledger for my own protection that this would never happen again. 1/2 hour later, I receive the ledger in the fax with a note that said "we made another mistake: your housemate has paid the rent in full. all late fees are waived." grrrr!!!
Currently listening to: The Best of Ella Fitzgerald. Most of the songs on there are duets with Louis Armstrong. I REALLY like this CD.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Thoughts on a Tuesday
"The concept of substitution may be said, then, to lie at the heart of both sin and salvation. For the essence of sin is man substituting himself for God, while the essence of salvation is God substituting himself for man. Man asserts himself against God and puts himself where only God deserves to be; God sacrifices himself for man and puts himself where only man deserves to be. Man claims prerogatives which belong to God alone; God accepts penalties which belong to man alone." ~John Stott
As I had stated in an earlier post, I've been reading through John Stott's "The Cross of Christ." I have to say out of all the books I've read over the last 2 years (and I do read quite a bit), it's been the most thought-provoking and life-changing book thus far.
My post last month was about the seemingly dichotomous concept of God's holiness and his mercy being expressed simultaneously in the ultimate act of sacrifice on the cross and how this ties into Christ's identity as our bridegroom. This post I'm going to write on thoughts of the identity of God.
If we look closely at what compelled Christ to die on the cross, it is simply man's sin. Sin is serious, separating us eternally from our Holy God. I always wondered why God doesn't simply choose to forgive our sins without substitution. After all, isn't God able to do anything? Doesn't God call us to forgive? I always explained it in my mind that if God had chosen to simply forgive us, we wouldn't understand the gravity of what we have done and we wouldn't be able to fully love Him for who He is. It's not that He can't, but that he chooses not to. However, Stott addresses this issue and points out that although God is not bound by external rules, He must stay consistent with who He is. He is unable to act out of character because He is our consistant and eternal God. If He were to act inconsistently with his character, He would cease to be who He is. John Stott put it well when he said that "we have to deny or disown everything within us which is false to our true humanity. But there is nothing in God which is incompatible with his true deity, and therefore nothing to deny. It is in order to be our true selves that we have to deny ourselves; it is because God is never other than his true self that he cannot and will not deny himself." (p. 128). God chose the cross because His holiness would not allow sin to go unpunished, but His love would not see us bear the weight of the punishment.
This being said, I think of the verse from "Before the Throne of God Above": "And on that cross where Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied." On the cross, it was the wrath of God that was satisfied. When I was a little girl, I used to put a hierarchy on the power of Biblical characters. God was at the top; after all, our God was the creator of the Universe. However, Satan came in as a close second. I thought that Satan was the reason for the cross, that the havoc he wreaked on earth caused God much pain and suffering, and he set events in motion to defeat Jesus through the pain of the cross. Now I understand that although Satan facilitated the first sinful act, it was man himself that allowed sin to enter into the world. The cross wasn't a victory against Satan. It wasn't a scheme that Satan put into place to defeat God. It wasn't to satisfy Satan. The cross satisfied God's wrath. The story isn't a conflict between Satan and God; it is a conflict between man and God. Again, it was rebellion against God that incurred God's wrath and it was His love that led to the cross. This is so freeing because it takes Satan out of the equation, it demotes him in terms of power, and it turns my face and attention toward God and God alone. (This is not to deny that Satan is active on this earth and that spiritual warfare is real and serious, but this is to recognize the soverignty and power of God).
I guess what I'm left chewing on right now is the concept of the trinity. What does it mean to be three in one? Jesus is God's only son who chose to die on the cross for us. It's easy to look at it and feel that God found an easy way out by sacrifice a separate person, "Jesus," although precious to Him, to be our lamb. But the Bible repeatedly claims that God himself chose to die for us. That it is God - in Jesus - who took our punishment. How can they be separate yet one? There is so much more to learn and understand. Until then, I can only trust that it is.
Either way, man's biggest stumbling block is the need to admit that we are not able to pay for our own sins, that salvation is a free gift that we do not deserve. To accept this truth requires humility and a recognition that God alone, and not ourselves, has the right to be Lord.
On a separate train of thought...
As I'm studying for the Psych GRE, I've been thinking about the concept of congruency by Carl Jung. Jung was the father of analytic psychology (which branched from psychodynamic theories - Freud), and focused on the self and self-concept. According to Jung, everyone has a concept of who he or she is. This self-concept varies in how congruent it is with who the person really is. The more congruent self-concept is with the real self, the more mentally healthy the person is. The more incongruent, the more events and circumstances question the person's self-concept, and the more psychological disturbances he or she experiences. But then, in studies of people with depression, those with depression often have a realistic sense of self-efficacy and who he/she is while those healthy have an elevated sense of self-efficacy and identity.
On one hand, therapy focuses on helping clients see themselves for who they are and be able to grow and learn from reality (increasing realistic self-concept and thus, congruency). On the other hand, therapists recognize that it is good to have an elevated sense of self-efficacy to prevent depression.
I read this and think, how many problems in this world could be solved if only we could all turn to the cross.
As I had stated in an earlier post, I've been reading through John Stott's "The Cross of Christ." I have to say out of all the books I've read over the last 2 years (and I do read quite a bit), it's been the most thought-provoking and life-changing book thus far.
My post last month was about the seemingly dichotomous concept of God's holiness and his mercy being expressed simultaneously in the ultimate act of sacrifice on the cross and how this ties into Christ's identity as our bridegroom. This post I'm going to write on thoughts of the identity of God.
If we look closely at what compelled Christ to die on the cross, it is simply man's sin. Sin is serious, separating us eternally from our Holy God. I always wondered why God doesn't simply choose to forgive our sins without substitution. After all, isn't God able to do anything? Doesn't God call us to forgive? I always explained it in my mind that if God had chosen to simply forgive us, we wouldn't understand the gravity of what we have done and we wouldn't be able to fully love Him for who He is. It's not that He can't, but that he chooses not to. However, Stott addresses this issue and points out that although God is not bound by external rules, He must stay consistent with who He is. He is unable to act out of character because He is our consistant and eternal God. If He were to act inconsistently with his character, He would cease to be who He is. John Stott put it well when he said that "we have to deny or disown everything within us which is false to our true humanity. But there is nothing in God which is incompatible with his true deity, and therefore nothing to deny. It is in order to be our true selves that we have to deny ourselves; it is because God is never other than his true self that he cannot and will not deny himself." (p. 128). God chose the cross because His holiness would not allow sin to go unpunished, but His love would not see us bear the weight of the punishment.
This being said, I think of the verse from "Before the Throne of God Above": "And on that cross where Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied." On the cross, it was the wrath of God that was satisfied. When I was a little girl, I used to put a hierarchy on the power of Biblical characters. God was at the top; after all, our God was the creator of the Universe. However, Satan came in as a close second. I thought that Satan was the reason for the cross, that the havoc he wreaked on earth caused God much pain and suffering, and he set events in motion to defeat Jesus through the pain of the cross. Now I understand that although Satan facilitated the first sinful act, it was man himself that allowed sin to enter into the world. The cross wasn't a victory against Satan. It wasn't a scheme that Satan put into place to defeat God. It wasn't to satisfy Satan. The cross satisfied God's wrath. The story isn't a conflict between Satan and God; it is a conflict between man and God. Again, it was rebellion against God that incurred God's wrath and it was His love that led to the cross. This is so freeing because it takes Satan out of the equation, it demotes him in terms of power, and it turns my face and attention toward God and God alone. (This is not to deny that Satan is active on this earth and that spiritual warfare is real and serious, but this is to recognize the soverignty and power of God).
I guess what I'm left chewing on right now is the concept of the trinity. What does it mean to be three in one? Jesus is God's only son who chose to die on the cross for us. It's easy to look at it and feel that God found an easy way out by sacrifice a separate person, "Jesus," although precious to Him, to be our lamb. But the Bible repeatedly claims that God himself chose to die for us. That it is God - in Jesus - who took our punishment. How can they be separate yet one? There is so much more to learn and understand. Until then, I can only trust that it is.
Either way, man's biggest stumbling block is the need to admit that we are not able to pay for our own sins, that salvation is a free gift that we do not deserve. To accept this truth requires humility and a recognition that God alone, and not ourselves, has the right to be Lord.
On a separate train of thought...
As I'm studying for the Psych GRE, I've been thinking about the concept of congruency by Carl Jung. Jung was the father of analytic psychology (which branched from psychodynamic theories - Freud), and focused on the self and self-concept. According to Jung, everyone has a concept of who he or she is. This self-concept varies in how congruent it is with who the person really is. The more congruent self-concept is with the real self, the more mentally healthy the person is. The more incongruent, the more events and circumstances question the person's self-concept, and the more psychological disturbances he or she experiences. But then, in studies of people with depression, those with depression often have a realistic sense of self-efficacy and who he/she is while those healthy have an elevated sense of self-efficacy and identity.
On one hand, therapy focuses on helping clients see themselves for who they are and be able to grow and learn from reality (increasing realistic self-concept and thus, congruency). On the other hand, therapists recognize that it is good to have an elevated sense of self-efficacy to prevent depression.
I read this and think, how many problems in this world could be solved if only we could all turn to the cross.
- We wouldn't have incongruence between our self-concept and our real self because we would gain our source of identity from our creator who knows us better than ourselves, who knows who He created us to be, and who loves us unconditionally.
- We could see ourselves realistically and not have to fall into depression because we are able to admit that no, we are not perfect, yes, we have so many faults and failures, but that it's okay because we are human and God is everything when we are nothing.
- Also, knowing that most people have an elevated sense of self-efficacy helps me to realize that I'm not worse off than everyone around me even though it may feel that way sometimes. We are all human and we are all inadequate, but it is through the grace of God that we are deserving of the inheritance He has promised us. Thus, we must be able to show the same grace and mercy to each other that we ourselves have been shown.
Realizing this really motivates me to work toward a PhD in Clinical Psych as well as a MTS (Masters of Theological Studies) and be able to use the principles of the cross to influence both my practice as a clinicians and my theories as a researcher!
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