10 Simple Pleasures

I was tagged by Catsi...so I guess people DO read my blog. Anyway here goes:

1. Going home on a sunny day after a full day of work
2. Having a clean apartment with a fridge full of food
3. Spending a day in the park with my camera
4. Getting a bear hug
5. Checking off items on my to-do list in my planner
6. Watching a good TV show/movie with good friends then discussing it afterwards
7. Sniffing warm towels fresh out of the dryer
8. Drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows
9. Finding and eating a good bag of gummy bears (where green = apple and red = strawberries) ;P
10. Taking a shower after a great workout

Hmm...who to tag (who hasn't been tagged yet):
ThePrefixAstro, brianchiang, AzN_homeboy, taitcha, lizaroo, Muchacha737
Write your own list and tag 10 more (I know I only tagged 6, but I don't have many blogging friends who I know read this...)

Portable Wealth

More thoughts from Sunday school.

So this past Sunday we talked about Abraham and his wealth. The question was, is our wealth portable?

My first reaction was, yeah, I have a bank account and am not a homeowner. However, as my table continued discussing what exactly wealth was, we realized that it includes social connections as well as education and experiences. That made me start to think: I've spend the last 4 years of my life investing time, energy, and money into my Psych education. Almost all of my decisions has been based on pursuing a PhD in the field - my current job and location is based solely on my career aspirations.

So...if God told me to take these past 4 years of time and monetary investments and to move to a completely new field to serve Him - could I do it? Although I want to say I could, at this point, I'm not sure I can honestly answer yes. It'll be something I have to wrestle with for a bit...

for the love of money...

Can't believe it's almost time for open enrollment for my benefits next year. I keep forgetting it's the end of September. It seems like just last week my supervisor and I were gushing over pictures of her daughters' homecoming. Apparently homecoming is coming up again in a few weeks!

I'm taking the money class for my Sunday school class this fall. One thing I love about how James P. is teaching the class is that he's not focusing so much on money itself, but seeing money as a representation/symbol of our relationship with the world around us. Last week we studied the fall in Genesis and how it severed our relationship with God (no longer walking with Him in the garden), each other (blaming one another), and God's creations (blaming the serpent, kicked out of garden, cursed to toil the earch). We studied how the end of chapter 2 described Adam adoring Eve and contrasted it against the end of chapter 4 with Lamech going home to two wives and boasting about the young man he killed. One thing I can take away from this is praying about how my attitude/use of money reveals my heart. For example, spending more than what's reasonable on fashionable clothing may represent placing my identity on appearance rather than in the Lord, pride and judgement against others, and contributing to the degradation of our environment through purchasing materials that aren't made from or processed by enviro-friendly methods. I dunno - I guess that's simplified a bit. Still, I'm excited about where this class is headed. This week we're studying the life of Abraham and how most of his life seems to (surprisingly) revolve around the accumulation of wealth.

Appropriately, last week's Time Magazine's cover story was about Christians who believe that blessings from God equals monetary riches. It makes me realize how our understanding of God is often so flawed and influenced still by the world around us.

One thing I learned on Sunday that I never noticed before is that God purposely took Adam through a journey of realizing his lack of a partner before providing him with Eve. I think that's kinda neat. I feel God often works that way: He has us realize our own needs before He provides us with the answer. I think that's why growing in our Christian walk is so difficult: before fully realizing our blessings, we must first experience what's void in lives without God.

"Spiritual Sundays"

I went skydiving on Saturday. Here are some pictures.

Having Church, Sunday School, and small group all on the same day is great - except come Monday I realize that I have a lot of "topics" to process through and have to focus on one at a time throughout the week.

Topic 1: Making Life Work
Pastor Chuck has been preaching through Ecclesiastes. This week's sermon was on Ecc 1:12-18 . His point, I believe, is that most of us are involved in the pursuit of "making life work." We accumulate knowledge and wisdom (through the media, books, school, each other) to find ways to make our lives "work". However, greater knowledge usually comes with a greater realization of our ignorance, and solutions to our problems may generate even greater problems. The reason that Ecclesiastes states "What is twisted cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted" is because we're never meant to be able to fix everything and achieve our "ideal life" through knowledge. Pursuing knowledge to this end is futile; if knowledge can solve our problems, we have no need for God.

I find that I spend a lot of my time reading magazines and newspapers to figure out how to practically arrange my schedule and lead my life from day to day. I have this idea in my head of what it will be like to live an ideal life. My language is usually filled with the phrase "I should." However, when I follow the schedule I create for myself, I tire out and start losing control over my life. Instead of getting angry at myself, I need to realize that my focus shouldn't be on what is the ideal life; it should be on living for God. Of course God values self-discipline and self-control, but instead of focusing on what I should and shouldn't be doing, I need to focus on the mission of God and how to honor Him and serve Him best with my time. Sometimes it means taking care of myself and doing things I enjoy, sometimes it means serving His church. I need to stop trying to be this ideal person living in this ideal life, and start praying about who God has created me to be and how I can best live for Him.

Pictures from DC

Baby Tai Shan trying to get to his mommy


Still trying...


There he goes.


Random giraffe

For the rest of the pictures:
Labor Day Pictures 1
Labor Day Pictures 2

Labor Day Weekend in D.C.

What a crazy vacation. I'll post pictures later!

Friday

• Flew into D. C. through the outskirts of Hurricane Ernesto - the plane was rocking back and forth even after we landed!
• Learned the wonders of the D.C. Metro system and learning about cool security things from Mel
• Lilly's goodbye party at Mel and Andy's

Saturday

• Deezy makes it to Mel and Andy's!
• Watching the Michigan football game with a bar full of Michigan alums
• Breaking my resolution to eat healthier by ordering nachos, chicken strips and beer for breakfast
• Sleeping through the 3rd quarter (I'm just not a football fan!)
• Shopping around Georgetown and rockin' the Labor Day Weekend sales with the gang and Audrey
• Grocery shopping with Mel, Andy and Deezy
• Trying very hard with Deezy to stay away from sweets
• Ended up giving in to BBQ chips and ice cream
• Cuddling up all together to watch a movie

Sunday

• National Mall with my girls: Hope diamond, Washington monument, Capitol Building, World War II Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, Korean War Memorial, World War I Memorial, White House. (We tired out and gave up before getting to Jefferson and FDR)
• Crossing the border to Virginia
• Shopping at a HUUUUUGE DSW store and getting boots for $6
• Watching Friends bloopers
• Andy joins us at the bar
• Missed the last metro back to D.C. so instead taking the cab

Monday

• Meeting up with Christine and John at the zoo
• Baby panda, baby elephant, and other animals
• Sushi for lunch
• Visiting the Embassies
• Packing and plane ride home

Still trying to get my apartment together since I haven't really felt settled back home for over 2 weeks now. Work is picking up and I'm literally swamped with paperwork - yesterday I gave up working at the desk, pushed my chair aside, and just worked on the floor of my cubicle!

Murphy's Law

This has been an incredibly stressful week!! God is faithful, and things are falling into place...although a bit more last-minute than I would prefer! 3 applications in! I'm 1/3 done!! =)

Leaving for D.C. in 2 hours...this is NOT a good time to start feeling sick!!

End of Summer

Hard to believe that students are almost all moved in. It's unbelievable how busy the streets are now in downtown Ann Arbor as compared to, say, Monday.

What a strange feeling, to see move-in yet not have the stress of NSO and other IV events. (By the way, if you ARE on campus and reading this, you should attend some awesome InterVarsity events!) At the same time the emotional stress of the last two weeks finally caught up with me and I've wanted to do nothing but sleep the last two days. But did I sleep this week? Of course not. With a visit from a dear friend and two girls' nights out this week, I'm still sleepy. And this weekend I'll be seeing more friends in D.C. So excited!!

I submitted my first grad school application this month. It's an exciting yet scary feeling! One down, eight more to go. I'm feeling more and more excited and confident - I don't know which schools I'll actually get into, but at least I gave it a shot. I miss being in school - and a year from now, I'll be a student again!!

Maybe I did over-prepare...

The first of my grad school online applications opened up this past week and I decided to fill it out to see how long it takes...

With my personal statements already written earlier this month, and all my recommendations lined up, I found myself ready to press the "submit" button within 15 minutes.

Are you kidding me??? I had to have missed something!

My Weekend in Pictures

The Insomnia Returneth

I definitely discovered bags under my eyes today.

They're moving everyone my age to another wing at work. =( I went running yesterday and my quads are sore - and my back is swollen as well. Ow. So many errands to run this week. I think I'm a wedding junkie no more - two weddings in two days is curing me of that. Learning valuable lessons about what it means to grow up. A lot to mull over. Finished the first season of LOST last night. Don't think I care for it enough to watch the 2nd season. Can't believe we're already a week into August. I'm rebelling from cubicle world by blasting the soundtrack from RENT. The lyrics still manage to give me shivers:

Find, Glory, in a song that rings true
Truth like a blazing fire, an eternal flame
Find, one song, a song about love
Glory, from the soul of a young man
A young man
Find, the one song
Before the virus takes hold, glory
Like a sunset
One song
To redeem this empty life

Central Air

Dear Diary,

Last night I caved in and turned my air conditioning on for the first time this summer. It was glorious.

Who I am

Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God. "For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you," says the LORD your Redeemer. "To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:4-10, TNIV

I had an amazing "Psychology meets Theology" moment last week. Both a Psychology lecture I attended and a book I was reading ("Renovation of the Heart" by Dallas Willard) addressed the concept of self-esteem. Self-help books and Psychological studies are always looking for ways to boost self-esteem because that's what they believe promote well-being. However, focusing on self-esteem has actually been found to be detrimental to well-being as there are pressures such as how to keep the self-esteem boosted, keeping up a front, etc. Instead, Psychology is beginning to find that the key to well-being is self-compassion: being able to accept oneself and to love oneself. Funny - that's what Dallas Willard says too in a book he wrote years ago before this was discovered in Psychology.

I found that to be extremely freeing and life-changing. Instead of trying to be something, I first have to start with loving myself and forgiving myself. Instead of worrying how others see me, I have to be okay with how I see myself. I have to start with letting go of expectations I have for myself and instead be okay with who I am. It doesn't mean neglecting spiritual formation and character building - it just means to not be bound by a self-set agenda.

The only way to have this self-acceptance and self-compassion, I've found, is a deeper understanding of who I am in Christ. And this passage of Isaiah illustrates the love relationship we have with Him - the romance between God and us (me). It's so easy to be caught up in legalism, but when you understand Christianity as a relational covenant, you find abundant grace, unconditional acceptance, and an everlasting love.

Done!!

Wednesday I finally gave my first talk about my research at a Psych conference. I've presented my poster at conferences, but that's with everyone walking around and looking at different posters and you only ended up talking to people one-on-one. This was different - I had a microphone and a PowerPoint presentation, and I was the only one speaking in the room.

I've been pretty stressed out about this for the last few weeks. People at work who knew I was doing this would ask me if I was nervous. I'd always reply no, since I don't really have a problem with public speaking. It wasn't until the whole darn thing was over that I finally realized how tense I was!

So...my mentor and I submitted our manuscript on Monday, and the presentation was on Wednesday. Only thing left for now is applying for Grad schools and applying for that NSF grant. I'm not so worried about grad schools anymore as I'm done with all my personal statements! The grant will be another thing though....

I watched "The Break-Up" the other day at the dollar movies. I loved, loved, loved the movie! It was not what I expected at all and the ending jarred me a little. I think a year ago I wouldn't have liked the movie, but it so accurately portrays relationships and unfair life is sometimes. I'm putting it on my list of movies to buy along with "In Her Shoes." I also borrowed "The Family Stone" from the library yesterday. What a poorly done movie! It was just weird from beginning to end. However, I like the theme of being true to yourself. SJP very accurately portrays just how hard it is to be around someone who's too concerned about other's perceptions of them.

Rent

Just watched the movie RENT for the first time. I loved it on Broadway, and I love it as a movie. I sobbed like crazy near the end - just as I did when I saw it the first time.

There's just something so beautiful about human nature - there's nothing more beautiful to me than when our image in God breaks through all the grime. Rent is about all these outcasts - people who are struggling to survive in this world. Yet, through all the shame of drug-addiction, battling AIDS, being "has-beens," or living on the streets, these people are simply looking for unconditional, reciprocal love in this broken world.

Ah, this is when I realize that I love being a Psychologist - I get to study brokenness, yet still find hope and goodness.

"Dying in America

At the end of the millenium

We're dying in America

To come into our own

And when you're dying in America

At the end of the millenium

You're not alone

I'm not alone

I'M NOT ALONE!!"

Friends with Benefits

...not those kind of friends and not those kind of benefits!

One of my best friends in life is pregnant and her little baby bulge is starting to show. Since she can no longer wear some of her more form-fitting clothes, I did what every good friend should do: I raided her closet. Someone has to wear those clothes during the next 6 months or so!

Her boyfriend also has, oh, 500+ DVDs. So I figure, while I'm in the borrowing mood, why not borrow some DVDs as well. I borrowed the entire first season of LOST (since I've heard it was soooooooo good) and a few movies.

So I began watching LOST, and let me tell you, it's a lot scarier than I expected! I've been watching them while at home alone, and I get really freaked out when I hear creaks and other noises. Appropriately, this morning my microwave became my phantom microwave. My microwave is pretty much the only lit clock in the front of my apartment, so when I came out to the kitchen, I immediately noticed that the clock light was out. Strangely enough, the microwave was still plugged in and the outlet worked. When I opened the microwave door, the microwave turned on and started running! It took a second to register that the plate inside was spinning and the light was on...meaning that microwaves were radiating onto my face as I was holding the door open...

I shut it immediately, unplugged the microwave, checked my face in the mirror for cancerous growths, took a breath, and scratched my head because I had no idea what to do. So for now, I'm without a working microwave. Any suggestions?

Back to Work

Oh happy Monday. I'm already counting down until my next vacation (Labor Day weekend in DC). It's been a long time since I genuinely didn't want to go back home after a vacation. Usually by the last few days, I'm impatient to be back into routine. I went to Knox for the first time in almost a month yesterday. The sermon was great and very convicting. Afterward, I stayed for the Ephesians seminar run by Jeff L. and Fred B. It's always good to do manuscript study although I have to admit exhaustion from the car ride home the night before did impair my observation skills.

Being gone for a week does guarantee work in my inbox. I'm happily plowing through some work-related research as well as resuming work on my manuscript. I realize my presentation is in 2 weeks and I haven't even begun putting together the Powerpoint slides for it. Additionally, I'm a week behind on my grad application schedule due to forgetting my USB flashdisk at work.

July is always a busy month it seems. Last year I somehow decided it would be good to schedule all my medical appointments during this month so my planner greeted me with a to-do list of appointments to schedule. Eye appointment - check! Haircut - check! Luckily I got my dental appointment out of the way before the vacation. My car is also falling apart (besides re-duct-taping it, I need to get an oil change and do a coolant flush at the very least). I did my finances this morning and feel a bit sick to my stomach. I think voice lessons and photography classes may have to wait if I want to travel at all after my Labor Day trip. Also, goodbye mall, hello thrift stores. I also have to be a bit more discerning while buying groceries. Ah, budgets - how I loathe thee.

Kiss My Lobster Pictures

Back in Ann Arbor. The trip was tons of fun and I can't wait for next year's trip already! My apartment is so quiet now that I'm alone instead of constantly being around 7 other people. Instead of posting pictures like my last post, here are links to all the pictures of the trip that I posted on facebook. Enjoy!
Photo Album 1
Photo Album 2

Kiss My Lobster Day 6

I got my photos uploaded to my computer! Some highlights of the last few days:

• Playing catch phrase
• Learning to play Texas Holdem Poker and kicking the guys' butts!
• Field trip to Portland - hiking and relaxing by the waters
• Eating lobster (yummmm)

Here are some pictures(taken on my fab new camera):